Spiritual Non-attachment
June 13, 2022
Q: Is spiritual non-attachment a practice I should incorporate?
A: Yes, the belief that this life constitutes meaning beyond the binary of good and bad is necessary in order to see beyond one’s “failings” and “successes.” The goal here is not one of ego death but of the salvation of one’s soul while yet living in a human body. Salvation is the act of saving something that would otherwise be irreparably lost. In this sense, the act of separating oneself from outcomes and judgments of good and bad saves one from the mental anguish of having to be somewhere [in life, figuratively speaking] that they’re not. In this practice [of spiritual non-attachment] you are exactly where you need to be, feeling what you should be feeling, and letting go of any expectation otherwise.
The discipline comes in by exercising love foremost—through fun. Non-attachment without love is where you sense the lack of meaning—the disconnect between what feels right and what seems to just underline and highlight meaninglessness of life. Love brings the meaning to a life of non-attachment. Non-attachment without love is like subtracting the song from a bird and clipping its wings and then asking why it does not sing and fly. Love is the music, love is the why, but love is not an outcome in that one loves for love’s sake and not to be loved in return or even that love will be the end product, because again feelings [even bad ones] are acceptable, feelings are good in that they are—allow them.
Judgement comes into play when you say you will only allow yourself to love. Feel the feelings and then exercise the decision—execute the order—to find a reason to love anyway. Find something to love, especially yourself, and this will bleed over to your other emotions, easing you into a better place of mind—more easeful because you’re not trying to change anything—just adding love, which makes all the difference and creates a new equation of power, force, and momentum. When you become something other than what you do or think or have, then you evolve beyond those things’ power. They can no longer hold you. You can experience—deeply so—the lovely things that come your way, but by not trying to hold onto those things or own them, you are allowing them full expression in you. Those things that you don’t find desirable cease to have a hold on you as well for they no long define you either.
With non-attachment, you are not spiritually bypassing for you are fully experiencing life, but it is as something that happens to you—not a thing that defines who you are or what your tomorrow will look like. With non-attachment, your relationships blossom as well. When people stop trying to define themselves and each other but simply let them be and evolve, there is so much freedom and lover there. In a relationship of interdependence, but not “owning” or finding one’s truth or identity defined by the relationship container they’re in, love can fully blossom. When people disappoint you, you can feel those feelings but then realize that those feelings don’t define the relationship, nor them—nor you, for that matter, for having had expectations in the first place. You can simply see in this situation what your expectations were and if you want to change them, modify them, and allow your expectations to grow along with your love and forgiveness.
Non-attachment is not the easy cure-all in that it is not overnight nor allows you to bypass/numb feelings but it does allow for your feelings to change. So much of the mind is focused on finding patterns and maintaining those assumptions/findings going forward. It can be draining. The key to non-attachment is the ability to let things flow and change—including your feelings—and to then manifest in the world the best part you find in yourself and the circumstances—always in the PRESENT moment.