Find Them Homes

December 10, 2020

Q: How do I best proceed with healing trauma?

A: Finding forever homes for your inner child’s anger, unrequited love, sense of justice and grace is the next step in claiming your sovereignty as an adult, now, in this moment. Home the anger. Tell it it is justified and acceptable and heard and valid and mirrored back as important. Tell the inner child it’s okay to want to break things in an attempt to be seen and heard and feared instead of being the one afraid. Howl, rage, sputter—it’s not meant to be bottled inside. The temper tantrums of the heart speak to what is important to us, what we’re afraid to lose, and what we don’t want to lose control over. The lullabies of peace can comfort, but all too often it’s not been soothing, placating mothering sounds you’ve heard but that of silence and disapproval.

“Don’t feel that way. It’s not right to act out/up or behave that way. It’s evil, non-Christian, ugly. Grow up and take on grownup ways and silence your inner voice. Let the church, pastor, Bible, and adults tell you what to think if you must think, but definitely allow them to tell you how to move/act/behave. Always re-think your intuition, second-guess your instincts, do a double-take to assess your motives before acting or saying or feeling anything. Anything angry or sad is evil and born of the Devil.”

These and many like them were lies you were fed and were crippling ways in which you were conditioned like the foot-wrapping of China. One person’s picture of irreproachable beauty is a ghastly, gruesome deformity to another.